The Skinned Monkey...

For some reason last night I dreamed about getting invited out to my friend David Dunwoody's house, and when I got there It turned out there were several other authors I know invited out as well. Rhiannon Frater, Johnathan Moon, Tim Long, Derek Goodman, Stephen North, Robert Best and myself all arrive in different taxi's like in clue. It is one of those strange houses out in the mountains that is built into the side of a mountain, with well more than half the house underground. There is a note on the front door that says come on in...We open the door and there is a hallway before us with an archway with a huge lush kitchen to our left and another archway to the right with a well appointed living room beyond it. There on a cart in the living area was a half dozen liquor bottles and such and we went in there and poured ourselves some drinks. Looking around the room Johnathan calls us all over to a set of black-stained wooden shelves just past the couch and along the back wall of the room. There is a dome-topped glass container on the wall and within it is a curious greyish liquid in the heart of which floats what can only be described as a skinless monkey...

Strange Rifts...

Last night I dreamed that my old job was now a body shop for strange model race cars, including demolition derby and a robotwars car race hybrid...that was pretty fucking amazing. in which cars with strange armored turrets on top would race around a track while the swinging wrecking balls on top of the turrets would smash into each other. The brackets were made up by weight, it was incredible. Under the guise of finding out information about the armor on one of their cars I was sent over there to actually seal a dimensional rifts in their break-room that lead to the Githyanki astral-realm... it was very weird... and amazing...

Alien Invasion... Again.

This is the 5th or 6th time I have had this dream.
I am having a good week because Laura and Isabelle are down from Canada, Then there is a ship that lands and tries to let us know that they are going to take our earth from us. They are strange mottled-grey things, basically humanoid in shape but with overlapping plates of thickened skin that serve as protection. As we are sitting there in our apartment we get a knock on the door, An army officer is there asking that I come and fight with them. He tell me that I was honorably discharged and that I have a class one marksmen rating on my service record. I tell him there must be some mistake that I never have been in the military. He assures me that I have been in and he gives me a bracelet with all of my clearance information in case we decide to take shelter with the military instead of hiding out on our own. Then after he leaves the sky grows dark and hundreds of huge ships appear in the sky. They have flashing beams of light on their underbellies, each one beaming down an invader. Laura looks at it for about two seconds and says, you need to go get some guns for us. I tell her I dont want to leave them and she says fine we will go together. So we gather up the baby and head down to the local military encampment. It is bustling with hundreds of soldiers and trucks. They are firing artillery at the hovering ships. Laura and I get through the outer perimeter with my bracelet and she goes off to find the mess tent while she sends me to go get some guns, alot of them. So I go over to the line and by the time I get there they go to scan my arm and pull me out of line. They take me up to this Lieutenant who tells me that I need a DNA-cypher injection to get inside the weapons facility. I tell him that I have a class one rating as a marksman and that I was told I could get guns to fight them. He starts telling me and his cling-ons how is it that everyone shows up as a marksmen lately and that perhaps they gave out that rating too easily. I tell him to look up, and I point out the ships still hovering overhead steadily beaming down soldier after soldier. I tell him that I want to fight them, I tell him that its my job, and to let me do my job. He nods and one of the sergeants grabs my arm and under my bracelet injects me with a hypo-spray. They says there you go soldier go get as many guns as you want now. So I run off to the line again and I have to wave my arm over like 15 scanners and show my bracelet 16 times. but I eventually get inside the building and it is a heaven of guns and ammo... it was so amazing that it woke me up just now...

Iphone Gadgetry...

So last night I dreamed again about a phone gadget.
This time like in an old James Bond flick it was a super powerful battery
put in there and a cutting laser!  It was so very cool, at first the cops were convinced that the robbers had used an acetylene torch to break in but then they saw that the wall opposite the door had a burn trail on it as well. In this dream for some reason I was a security consultant they contacted to go over the video recordings of the robberies and analyze what I saw. I have no idea how I got that job but it was fun to go over each frame of the video and write a report. When it was done the report was 489,721 words, and they smiled and said thank you when I turned it in. Then they came back a month later and asked it I could give them a condensed version. I told them no, if I condensed it then the report would not accurately reflect what I saw in the video. They released an abridged version of my findings and included the abridged version in the courtroom proceedings once they caught the guy. They asked me to take the stand, which I was more than happy to do. They asked me some questions from my findings and I told them what I had found and I even read from the full report which I brought. When the judge asked why what I was reading from was different than what the lawyer was asking I had to reply with the truth, I was under oath. The court case was put on hold while this new report was entered into evidence and the paraphrased one was taken out. Two months later the Judge asked me to come in to his office. He asked me if I wanted to be rich beyond anyone's wildest imagination. I said of course. He told me how to sue the lawyers in such a way as to them be shown to have liable'd me. I won 439 million dollars. I woke up weeping that it hadn't be true. It was glorious.

new blog

I decided to stop putting the occasional rant on here and reserve this exclusively for my dreams. so I put together a new blog page for regular weirdness... go here

http://mythos-flavored-blog.tumblr.com/

well go there is you want to read about my goofy stuff and get some occasional writing samples and what not...

Revelations Incensed...

Last night I dreamed about finding another pyramid in Egypt, there was a huge sand storm and it uncovered the tip of this buried edifice. There were no records of this pyramid because it is from before Dynastic Egypt even existed carbon dating on one of the mummies found inside puts his death at 25,000 years ago... no one can explain it. all of the religions of the world go into an instant turmoil. There is violence, massive secular violence. The creationists go insane, they try to bomb the place because it goes against their-earth being 6000 years old-bullshit theory. It is one thing to say carbon dating(and all science) is a lie but when they find the anti-chamber of one of the many tombs in this new pyramid and find scroll after scroll detailing the religions of the day, that is when the Christian faith is hit the hardest. The unspoken lies about where half the stories and holidays really comes from. The scrolls details the religion of Mithra in detail, the things it talks about pre-dates all other religions and the stories and legends are pretty much exactly the same. Suddenly men realize that they have been living a lie. Its amazing. Anyhow while all of that boring shit is going on that weird guy from History channel who is always going into tombs and what not finds a chamber with two hundred mummies, these are the royal guard meant to keep watch on the king buried here for all time. just one mummy is taken out to have it tested. The wrappings and the mummy itself are very dried out and there is a large quantity of dust on and around these guards. A sample of this dust is sent to various research labs around the world for testing. A sample is sent to the University of Texas at Arlington. A tiny bit of this dust is put on a cone of store bought incense and lit up with a room full of test subjects. Three of them went mad and were never able to leave mental wards for the rest of their lives. Two of them picked up pen and paper and drew what is now referred to as the ash sketches, the most horrific images of torture and war ever drawn by mankind. And one of them, a little girl five years old who had been sick all of her life and had never been to school or church, she had never had a bible read to her or even discussed in front of her. She was placed in there to see if it would effect someone who had no basis for hallucinations. of course once word of the fact that a child was used in this experiment got out the school was fined and the professor sued into bankruptcy. But the papers he published on the study of this mummy dust got out before he was financially ruined.

that little girl gave a two hour sermon with more religious fervor than any evangelist who ever lived. She basically paraphrased the entire book of revelations ... and then of course I woke up...

Xgem-Gamer Kush

So I dreamed that I had been contacted by a weed grower who figured out a way to sell it legally on the internet to anyone. He wanted me to help him come up with some packaging for his products. He paid me in millions of dollars worth of weed, I of course got shook down by the DEA and the FBI, they wrote up a contract with me that if I helped them gather the info they wanted on this guy, I in return would never have to pay taxes again and I would be given a lump sum of money that per year would provide me and my family in perpetuity with 75,000 per year of interest to live on. Needless to say I took the offer and I made the weed packaging. He disguised it as Gem cases for video games... Video with titles like Gamer Kush, Orange Defender, Green Zaxxon, Twisted Tempest, Scarlett Sinistar, and of course Purple Galaxian.

I was sent hundreds of pounds of weed most of which was snatched up by the government agents who came over disguised as UPS delivery guys, the rest was sold under the table by me on craigs list and I made 2.5 million bucks which I put into a bank account under my daughters name. it was insane...

very strange dream that when I woke from it I was so glad that it hadn't happened because I honestly would never want to talk with this guy again in my life, you see he was a friend of mine back in high school and I have since grown in my self-image and discovered that he was a pretty useless over bearing douche bag who I am lucky to have out of my life forever.